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Beta Colony is a wonderful planet.
It's general knowledge that love makes the world a better place. And he was in love - with all the seriousness, romantic gestures and true passion for a woman who you wish to take home, make the mother of your children and live with happily till death. Of course, it was too early to think of death at his age of twenty four, but then again, it was the right time to make plans for life and choose a partner.
Everything about Jenny was sweet and adorable: the short crop of blond hair hardly longer than his own, the habit of biting a thumb when deep in thought, the thin figure with small perky breasts... Naked - according to Betan tradition - breasts. From his first days on Beta he trained himself long and hard not to stare at topless women with the hungry eyes of a teenager, but to look at them with the calm indifferent eyes of a civilized man. He trained himself and required the same from his guards. But lately it was becoming harder and harder to be a gentleman not looking at Jennifer Duncan's breasts. And it had nothing to do with barbarous habits. He wanted her and knew that she liked him too and that their engagement was a definite business of the near future.
He suspected... No, he knew for certain that Jennifer wouldn't refuse to do him a small favor even before the engagement. She'd already asked him, looking seriously and closely, "Do you want to go and pick new earrings with me?"
He joked then that he wasn't ready to have his ears pierced and found something reassuring in not rushing things. But he told Jen that everything would be as she wished.
He sat more comfortably and forbade himself to think what straightforward Jenny with her Betan views on gender could want in his company.
"Maybe you could go up there and get her while I wait for you, my llord?" The driver asked cautiously.
"I don't think so." Xav Vorbarra, Ambassador and Prince of Barrayar, answered. "Miss Duncan will be here shortly."
The Embassy aircar with the flag on top was parked at the entrance to the dome, and it drew only the smallest amount of attention from the Betan passers by. The locals were not very nosy toward anything that was outside their routine. And Xav, who’d prepared for his journey to Beta with fierce thoroughness, didn't appear to be the most exotic of galactic guests even in his first weeks on this planet (accent and clothing preferences notwithstanding). Really, no one expected a foreign ambassador to walk around dressed only in a loincloth like he was in the sauna, even in a place like this. But all the horror, shock and amusement that Beta Colony delivered during the first weeks of his stay Xav as a Vor and a gentleman hid carefully until the doors of the Embassy closed behind his back.
That memory made him chuckle.
"I see you've adjusted completely, Duvi." He addressed to the driver. "You drive like a local."
"Affirmative." The man answered and looked into the eyes of his lord, caught his mood and smirked. "The car is nothing, I don't even, pardon me, my lord, confuse all the equipment in the bathroom any more."
Yes, that was the embarrassment all Barayarans went through. In the first days in the embassy the Prince found that all five of his armsmen couldn't handle the machinery in the bathroom, and even Xav himself was able to identify only three buttons out of five. It was just a year ago, but it felt like an eternity. Now even the mystery of a search through the com-networks felt mundane. Beta Colony opened before him - intricate and fanciful, but such a safe world. This planet hadn't known wars for God knew how many generations, no one carried weapons here, no one even heard of duels, and not a single galactic had any automatic hate for the Barrayaran bastard prince.
She chose him, it was so great! He wondered why she did that. Level-headed, no-nonsense, conservative by local standards, Jen worked in the Betan ministry of interstellar trade, galactics weren't something new to her. She wasn't mad about exotic things; maybe the fact that Xav wasn't Betan still bewildered and embarrassed her? He worried about that for a whole minute, then remembered that she firmly promised to visit Barrayar with him. The world became a wonderful place again.
The entrance membrane opened with a smacking sound, but let out not Jen, but an unknown character in a striped sarong. It was nothing. Women were commonly known to be late for dates in any world: Barrayar, Beta Colony or good old Earth…
Yes, women in every world were mysterious creatures, but the Betans, of course, baffled Xav much more often than his fellow country-women. From his first days on Beta Colony they were paying eager attention to him, trying to get acquainted with a galactic aristocrat more closely, but apparently the novelty of it disappeared soon and they vanished from his life. And his bed, truth to be told.
But Jen wasn't like them. She was the most wonderful girl in the world and she couldn't suggest anything wrong or inappropriate.
What if his father wouldn't understand that? Xav thought that this marriage satisfied his status and rank, solved many political problems in choosing a maiden from a Vor family and at the same time distanced him from the throne, which was most desirable. But what if the galactic was considered an inappropriate choice to be part of the Imperial family? Xav realized that he wouldn't give up his woman… However he’d have to kiss good bye the post at the Embassy. He would face the choice between a quarrel with his august father and a return under his strict custody. Which was the right way: to place his duty to homeland before everything else or to estimate if he could afford to study in college here out of his personal finances? Would he be able to fit in to life on Beta Colony?
Goodness, what kind of thoughts entered his mind, and all because Jen wasn't coming out!
As soon as he thought that, Jen appeared. She did dress up. There was a bright blue crest of hair from her forehead to the back of her head, the spirals of the same color covered her body, thickening on her breasts and swirling around the nipples. It looked… Xav reconsidered his views on beauty and decided that "breathtaking" sounded better than "provoking". And according to the local tastes it was an exceptionally elegant outfit. Moreover his fair one didn't like to walk when she could run, and her breasts were jiggling in the most tempting way… Xav swallowed and straitened his shorts (he never schooled himself to wear sarongs, and he'd have looked ridiculous and ineffably official in trousers and uniform overcoat), and got out of the car hugging flowers to himself.
"Oh, darling!" Jen hugged him tightly, but carefully so she wouldn't crush the flowers and immediately buried her face in the bouquet, confirming the thesis that a woman was a woman on any planet. "Oh, this is organic, isn't it? Real organic flowers! Xav, dear, you maybe a prince, but not a fairy-tale one, to make such presents!"
"You haven't been to the greenhouse in the Embassy yet." The Prince Ñharming in shorts, sighed, hugging his woman with a crest on her head, her body painted in bluish-green swirls.
"I'm sorry that you had to wait." She smiled diving into the courteously opened door of the car. Xav was right behind her. "My sister was stuck in the college, it's impossible to put the body paint on without her. Can you imagine: the line ended on the ribs, the whole back was naked! It's pretty, isn't it?"
"It's amazing," he confirmed without faltering much. The armsman was staring fixedly at the front window, unsmiling, it looked like he wasn't even breathing. "Why did you dress up like this? To sit with me in the cafe' eating ice-cream?"
"Laugh all you want." She snorted. "I want to go on a bash with you till tomorrow, and you won't get away with just the ice-cream. Oh, Xav, weekend is such a wonderful time!" Jen rested her head against his shoulder, they kissed.
When the gravitation settled back in, and the car magically stopped floating in the air with both lovers on board, Jen said decisively, "That's not good enough. Let's go to the Orb."
"What is that?"
"It's an entertainment center, a new one, it takes up a whole dome." Jen took off the com link from her belt, poked it, snorted and finally tapped the driver on the shoulder. Like it or not, the armsman had to look at the small screen near his ear. "Here are the coordinates, mister Duvi. You'd better change lanes, it's a popular place, we'll have to wait in line for landing."
She said it almost in the same tone which Xav'd have used to whisper in her ear during a reception: "Turn right, there is Vor Lady N, the infamous babbling brook, you'd better greet her first and escape, otherwise she won't give you peace till the end of the evening." People are people in any place, and entertainment is entertainment everywhere.
And princes are princes, no matter which way you look at it.
"We won't be waiting in line." Xav said decidedly, when the stream of aircars thickened. "Duvi, switch to the diplomatic priority mode. You are driving the ambassador of the Imperium!" He laughed, hugging his almost official bride closer. The car proudly landed surrounded with flashing lights, the other cars humbly gave way. They got a place in the privileged sector near the entrance. Over it a 3D sign, glittering and twinkling, read The Orb of Unearthy Delights. Betan commercials, my word! These people know no measure in epithets.
"Have something to eat, Duvi, but stay online." Xav dismissed his driver. Beta Colony was a quiet and safe place, and he needed a bodyguard in the cinema or whatever entertainment they had in there no more than a dress uniform, but persuading the armsman to use free time on duty for himself was almost impossible. He'd be sitting in the car, halfheartedly reading the news and alertly looking around. When his shift ended he'd call for a relief. No, it wasn't worth the effort to explain these rules to Jen - she'd think he was some sort of a cruel slaveowner.
Unfortunately, at the entrance to the Orb they were intercepted by not only the helpful girl clerk dressed in a barely-there scrap of fabric (Xav prudently turned to Jen), but also by two unfamiliar Betans who jumped off a couch with fairly recognizable objects in their hands.
"Could mister Ambassador say something for our commercial channel?" The one with the microphone started animatedly.
Ri-i-ight. It was a bad idea to land with special effects, thought Xav a little too late. This lady reporter was bored silly here waiting for something, anything, interesting to happen. That is, the male reporter. Erm, it. Xav stuttered trying to remember how to address to a herm, while the second Betan with the camera trained its predatory eye at the visitors.
"Honorable herm, erm... I'm here on a private visit. Not as an ambassador."
"That's not important, mister." The jumpy creature waved its hand. "What do you prefer of the services provided here?"
"I don't know yet. We are here for the first time." Xav said cautiously.
"Oh, so are you ready to encounter the delights within?"
Hmm, if only he knew what sort of art was waiting for him inside... So Xav answered firmly and without any doubt hugging his woman closer, "I don't think I'll find in there anything more beautiful than my bride."
The reporter squared its shoulders and started spouting to the camera, "Honorable viewers, this is the ambassador of Barrayar who wishes to enjoy the services of the Orb like any good Betan. He just announced that he's planning to indulge in a long-term sexual relationship with a fellow Betan since he's enraptured by her beauty. Tell us, mister, is it true that on your home planet sex without the permission from the government is considered a crime and it's common to have one's head amputated for violating this regulation?"
"Where did you get that idea? Of course not." Xav was indignant. Fortunately Jen kept smiling kindly. "You shouldn't scare my date with stories like that."
"Amazing." The reporter was delighted. "I'm glad that the rumors of such severity are not supported by facts, because what can be more natural than following the call of nature. Does the lack of earrings on you mean that you haven't decided what your sexual preferences are and you want to have an introductive and informative tour in the company of your partner?"
Sexual what? Only the training of a diplomat saved the Barrayaran from gasping for air. Any moment now a serious diplomatic incident would have happened resulting in a bruise on a face of a Betan free press representative. But Jen took the matter into her hands, "The galactics don't wear earrings, venerable one." She said decisively. "We are engaged in a long-term monogamous heterosexual relationship, and from that point of view I wanted to discuss our visit with the manager. Let us through, please."
Jen raised her chin and went through the helpfully opened door. Xav was right behind her as if held by a string. * * *
By the evening of that day Xav Vorbarra knew perfectly well what the Orb of Unearthy Delights was. But when they exited the door there was no trace of shock or indignation. Jen, her cheeks flushed and happiness radiating from her face, hugged him tightly. “My dear Xav, I’ve never felt so wonderful.”
The managers of the Orb weren’t strung out idiots like that reporter at the door, but professionals worth every penny spent on the visit. After a short and respectable conversation the local personnel created an outstanding visual simulation of their most secret fantasies. Jen in the long dress of a fairy-tale princess with jewelry sparkling sat beside Xav, and they kissed.
They weren’t in a hurry. Sex is a simple, ordinary, natural thing in the world, like a glass of water, the Betans were right about it. And he wanted to give his beloved a magical image of true love. He held her hand and spoke – stammering uncharacteristically and feeling awkward about all the big words – about how much he adored her and wanted to spend his entire life with her.
Beta Colony is a wonderful planet. But Prince Vorbarra promised to present Barrayar to his fair one, and she accepted the gift.
